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Sefer Bereshis
Parashas Vayeitzei
Bereshis: Chapter 28, verse 7
Rashi Chapter 28, verse 11
In
last week's parsha Yaakov
was told by his father and mother to go to Lavan's
house in Padan Aram to find a wife. And the Torah informs
us that Yaakov listened to them and went there.
In
this week's parsha Rashi
tells us that Yaakov spent 14 years in Torah study before he arrived in Padan Aram (See Rashi
chapter 28 verse 9 for the entire calculation of
Yaakov's lifetime).
If
I told my son to go to the store and he arrives there 14 years later, I
would not call that "listening to me". And yet the Torah
testifies that Yaakov delayed his trip for 14 years and still fulfilled his
parents' wishes!
I
think that the reason is clear. Lavan was a
swindler - Rivka grew up with him and should
know. Yaakov was ordered to go there and get married, a process that might
take years to complete (it actually was 20 years until Yaakov left Lavan). Yaakov undoubtedly felt
that should he arrive unprepared spiritually for the coming period, he
would learn from Lavan's evil ways. Therefore he
sat in Torah study for 14 years before he approached the place.
Let
me say it another way: Had Yaakov immediately gone to Lavan,
got married but changed his behavior to a spiritual level less than it was
when he started, would that be called "listening to his father and
mother"? Yitzchak and Rivka certainly
expected their son Yaakov to stay the same righteous person he had been.
And if they tell him to go to Padan Aram, it includes an obligation to invest
time and thought in ways which will allow him to remain righteous until he
leaves there.
The
next time somebody tells you that a boy doesn't need to go to Yeshiva or a
girl to Bes Yaakov, you can tell him the above idea. The world around us
has many pitfalls and too many young people have been lost to Judaism by
jumping in with little or no preparation. In our generation as in the days
of Yaakov Avinu, the parents pray for Yiddeshe Nachas
(satisfaction) and the path is still the same path - serious Torah study.
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