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The Foundation of Return
By Our
Righteous Rabbi Yona Gerundi,
May the Remembrance of the Righteous be a Blessing
A Project of "The Mussar Room" of the
Diaspora Yeshiva
The
First Step
In the morning
as you wake you should remind yourself of your resolve to return,
scrutinize the actions you will do during the day and try as much as
possible not to make even one misstep.
Then at the
morning meal, before you begin to eat, you should review and enumerate the
sins, and anything you twisted or dealt with improperly. This enumeration
will keep you far from any misdeed. For if you come in contact with a
potentially sinful matter, you will be wary of it and say in your heart,
how can I do such a great evil when I know I must
review it before Hashem. For then I would be like
those that "flatter Him with their mouths and lie to Him with their
tongues, for their heart is not steadfast with Him and they are not
faithful in His covenant".(Psalms 78:36-37)
Indeed, I would be like one who bathes for purification while holding an
impure reptile in his hand. Certainly I can withstand temptation for one
short hour!" When you think these thoughts in heart and spirit, then
you will surely be guarded from sin. You should be light as a deer and
mighty as a lion to do the will of your Father in Heaven. You should be
careful, even of the sins that you tread under your heel, for all your
actions will be weighed. Thus, King David said (Psalms 49:6), "Why
must I fear in times of misfortune? The sins that I trod under my heels
brought it upon me." These are the sins and commandments that we tread
under our heels and shrug them off as insignificant.
If when
mealtime comes, you search and find no blemish, then thank and praise the
Creator for supporting you against temptation and granting you one moment
of return in this world. With this you should eat your morning meal.
Before you eat
the evening meal, you should review and enumerate your misdeeds.
After the
evening meal you should do the same before retiring for bed.
These are the
three occasions for acknowledging sin. You should do this every day, from
the day you begin returning, for one month or for a whole year, until you
have strengthened your fear of the Creator and have left all your bad
deeds. When you have guarded yourself from your habitual sins, and after
several times when they have come to your hand, you have kept away from
them, then you need not fear anymore, for you will
receive help from Heaven and even your transgressions will be considered as
a merit.
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